Breaking: Jesus Arrested and Sentenced!
An 18 month FBI joint task force ended last night with the arrest for Jesus of Nazareth; a man some claim is the Son of God.
A street preacher who draws small crowds was arrested and charged on multiple counts today including; Trespassing in a church, assault with a deadly weapon, resisting arrest, eluding police, illegal weapons possession, failure to comply, disrupting a courtroom, threatening government officials, selling food without a permit, destruction of public property, hate speech and conspiracy to terrorize.
According to a memo from the the prosecutors office, his arrest occurred at a peace talk with Scribes and Pharisees when his militia attacked a servant of the high priest and cut off his ear. Police reports say Jesus also attempted to attack the priesthood. Militia members escaped and a manhunt is underway. — One witness claims Jesus healed the mans ear, but prosecutors say since no ear was found that this testimony was not admissible in court. Jesus was not available for comment and refused to speak to judges. He was also found in contempt.
“We’ve been tracking Jesus for a long time. But we wanted to make sure we had the evidence and that Innocent people did not get hurt.” — Said the Sheriff this morning after Jesus was found guilty.
Some insist Jesus did good, but commenters and experts suggest he was aggressive and hostile towards government, often disregarding the law. — iFreedom news ran an online poll which helped judges decide whether Jesus should be crucified or released. The majority agreed that he should be crucified; the sentence is being carried out today.
Head pastor for the Coalition of Professing World Churches released a statement supporting his arrest, overnight conviction and sentence of death without appeal. — “We denounce Jesus fully.” Said Pastor Meyers “He is a radical who in no way represents the love we teach. While we regret the course of events but praise officers for taking action to protect public safety; they PUT THEIR LIVES OF THE LINE EVERY DAY to protect us and our prayers are with them. Jesus should have simply obeyed the law.”
This is an accurate illustration of how our world would react if Jesus was arrested today.
This twisting and lies by omission against innocent people occurs daily as men and woman much less perfect than Jesus than have their lives ruined by a system of tyranny and a society of guilt by accusation. We have a nation which refuses liberty and refuses to love it’s neighbor.
Take a closer look a your church. If they are not coming out against sin from homosexuality to apathy. If they are not working for real to stop abortion, if they are not coming against our corrupt government and it’s abuse of the weak, innocent and poor. If they speak of love, but refuse to address hate in their communities. If they speak of justice, but never show up to defend their neighbor against it; they are not standing with Christ.
We have a King who defines love itself! He commands us to defend follow him, to defend the weak. He says we should be hated by the world and should follow his law which is fulfilled in this, obey God and love your neighbor as yourself.
Called as peace makers, we must defend peace with a willingness to act boldly as well as to turn the other cheek. Ask yourself; is my church singing loudly of Jesus, but failing to support the weak, defend the innocent, visit those in prison and oppose these who are wicked? (Matthew 25) Are you attending a church of Jesus or a a church of American secularism and chains?
Is your church a sweet savor to government, or a sweet savor to God? — You cannot have both!
— Gav Seim